People Think Office Work is Cushy

So I have friends who think just because I work in an office my life is so easy and all I do is sit at a desk. For the most part I do sit at a desk but it is fraught with danger.

Last week by 10 AM after just two hours of work I had managed to rip a hole in my long sleeve top, have 3 paper cuts, a bruise on my pinky and had to extract a paper clip from down my nail. It’s ridiculous how dangerous an office and how underestimated it is. Let me walk you through the potential hazards in my day.

Paper cuts are first and foremost danger. They are usually invisible or very small but hurt like you’ve had a knife put through your hand. Everyone thinks your making a fuss over nothing but you are in serious pain. The worst point is the flap of skin where your thumb joins your forefinger. When you shuffle papers together, its at its most vulnerable. I wincing as I type.

Photocopiers where you have to open and close a lid. My boss managed to shut it on my finger last week giving me a massive bruise. They are seriously heavy pieces of machinery that should have clear warnings. I should also have a boss who looks at what he’s doing but hey you can’t have everything.

Filing cabinets in movie are not a true representation of a working office. They don’t fling open easily and you can just pluck a file out. Oh no no. They drawerrs are usually stiff and heavy to pull open. When you’ve dislocated your shoulder doing that you then risk life and limb delving into the drawers to retrieve your file. They rarely sit neatly in a row in the drawer. They are overfilled. The metal taps on the folder get all bent out of shape. My hands and arms are always covered in scabs and scratches mainly down to filing cabinets.

The paper clips were a new danger even to me. I reached into the box to get one which I did but I also found on lodged don my nail. Man oh man did that hurt. The skin underneath your nail is some of the most tender. Mine was completely violated. Again I had the same problem as the paper cuts. Extreme agony but nothing to show for it.

So for everyone who think off jobs are easy and cushy think again. 😉 (Only joking. I love my job and my boss. Please don’t fire me)

Love Esmee Jayne xxx

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Emotional…

Sorry the blog’s been a bit quiet over the past week or so. This is quiet an open and raw post for me, not my usual style. I know the internet is the place for free expression but when it comes to emotions I’m more of an introvert than an extrovert. I’ve tossed and turned about this post, but I decided to go ahead. I’ve been a bit emotional and my coping mechanism is to become more introverted. There’s no real reason for it, its just a combination of hormones and life I guess.

I’m a perfectionist. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, right, it just means you push yourself to always do your best. Which is true to a point but it goes further than that. It means that you over analyse life. You never feel good when you go out because you find a flaw in your appearance. When your hanging out with family or friends you analyse every response, wishing you could say something different. Wether its work or school you feel you have to get the highest grade or top position. Sometimes you even expect those standards of those closest to you. It means that whenever you have a mistake it’s hard to deal with. For instance I lost my purse. I mean its kind of a stressful situation anyway losing your purse and I didn’t handle it well. I burst into tears, not over any lost money or loss of personal possessions but because I had made a mistake. It was that I made a mistake. I was upset that I had lost it. I had to face telling people I had lost it. I had to face people thinking I’m a failure.

Now this sounds completely self-obsessed. It’s just how my brain is wired to work. I know there are people with far far worse problems. Sometimes you get completely wrapped up in your own little world. That’s where I’ve been the last few days. I’ve been trying to give myself a break, a little bit of self-care. I’ve not put pressure on myself to workout or eat healthily. It’s done me good, it’s given my brain a rest. I’m trying to remember you can admire someone else beauty without questioning your own. I’m trying to remember no one is perfect. It’s also teaching me to accept me for me.

I don’t know if I can call this a mental health problem and put a label on it but it’s my problem to deal with. Every now and again I don’t keep it in its place. I let me perfectionism rule me and rob me of my happiness. Every time I beat it things get a little easier.

Love Esmee Jayne xxx

Handsome And Gorgeous – How They Met

She was still shaking but being comforted by the soothing warmth of a cup of tea. It had been a nightmare. She has been feeling grotty with the flu. She soldiered on all morning at work waiting for lunchtime so she could feed her cold with a slice of deep filled chocolate New York style cheesecake.

She turned the corner and noticed there was a light coming from the break room. She wondered if she had left the light on that morning in her rush to get back to her desk, but then again she would have noticed it earlier wouldn’t she, or was she in much of haze. These thoughts twirled round her mind as she crept closer and closer to the break room.

She flung the door fully open and to her shock found an idiotic young man stuffing his face. He had even eaten the last piece of chocolate cheesecake she was planning to have. In a chocolate cheesecake fuelled rage, to her surprise she said “HOW DARE YOU!” Angrily she continued “How can you have the audacity to eat someone else’s food”

He just stood there staring at her with a chocolate moustache. “Sorry, the guy who did my induction said there was cake in the fridge if I fancied any. I was really hungry because I’d been too nervous to eat this morning.” He wiped his mouth. “I did know it was yours. If you want I’ll make it up you. I know a great place for desserts about ten minutes from here.”

She had to admit without his chocolate moustache he seemed a lot more attractive, handsome even. She felt rubbish and just wanted to go home. She was about to turn him down when he said “Come on Gorgeous”

This is the Greatest Show!

For any of you fabulous bunch who follow me on Twitter will know that this weekend I went to go and see The Greatest Showman. I’m now officially obsessed and in love.

I mean first off what’s now to love about staring at Zac Efron and Hugh Jackman for a few hours. They are looking sharp in this movie. I have to give a special mention to Hugh Jackman’s hat tricks they defy gravity and look so cool. I’m seriously tempted to get a Top Hat and learn.

The story is good. It’s not too romantic and soppy for any guys out there. It follows a journey through P T Barnum’s life. His opening love story of him and his wife is beautiful. The fact that he and his cast showed that it didn’t matter what you looked like you had a right to unashamedly be who you are. It’s something the world needs more of.

By far my favourite thing was the music. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack on repeat. The anthem of this film is This Is Me. It’s got such moving and powerful lyrics. It’s the song that really establishes that no one should be ashamed. Whatever we’ve gone through has made us who we are. We can be proud to be who we are.

If you were a High School Musical fan, then enjoy some nostalgia when Zac Efron and Zendaya sing “Rewrite the Stars” It beautiful and delicate. It touches on issues which are still felt today and still relevant. It’s the age old tale of star crossed lovers. It’s beautifully presented in this song.

“The Other Side” is so clever and if you only see one scene in this film it’s got to be this one. I think it will end up being seriously under estimated but the speed of the dance and the bar tender throwing glasses, it deserves to be recognised.

The opening scene is very cool again Mr Jackman and his hat tricks feature. It really sets the tone for the movie perfectly. It screams that this is a real musical.

I’m in love with “Come Alive”. It’s a upbeat dance number from the movie. I just can’t stop listening to it. It’s so happy and positive. I don’t think I’ve worked out this much in ages, just dancing round my living room (with the blinds closed and doors locked, obviously) . It’s just the perfect song that wake up to in the morning. All of the Songs are amazing and extremely catchy. They just evoke positivity and put a spring in your step.

This movie is the one if you feeling down and unloved. You cannot help but feel better watching it. I hope you enjoy.

Love Esmee Jayne xxx

I’m a Twenty-Something

So I’ve been loving some of Jamie Cullum’s back catalogue recently. One I’ve been musing over recently is Twentysomething.

I think those lyrics pretty much some me up right now. I’m kind of at this in between stage of life. Your not a kid anymore but you don’t feel like an adult yet.

I’ve learned a lot so far in my short few years of “adulting”. Like not waiting for Mr Right to come into your life before you start living. I always put off doing stuff or going to places because I wanted to do it or go there with the One. I’ve learned life is to be lived not to be wasted waiting around.

I’ve learned that my choices make me, well, ME. I’ve not turned out the perfect scholar my teachers wanted. I’m not a model housewife. I am ME. Bring me is ok. I don’t have to live up to some crazy standard of perfection wether imposed by myself or someone else.

I guess the most important thing I’ve learned is not to give up. You won’t always have everything figured out but if you don’t give up one day you will.

Love Esmee Jayne xxx

It’s Official Job Interviews Are The Worst

Ok so when you go for a job interview you get all this great advice on how to dress, how to act, do a dummy run before going on the day of the interview. All of this goes to pot when you get phoned at 5 o’clock one evening for an interview at 9 the following morning.

The best thing I figure I can do is just get an early night and do my best to prepare for tomorrow. I got my outfit ready, planned my route and went over my CV.

Bright and early I’m up and out heading to my interview. I left an hour and half for an hour long journey. Then my worst nightmare came true there was an accident while I was on my way. It meant I needed the full 90 minutes to get there.

I pulled up with literally a minute to spare. I’d worn flat pumps to drive in and brought heels to change into. I’m quickly trying to ram my feet into my new shoes. I leap out of the car. Sling my bag over my shoulder. I start trying to do the confident strut towards the front door. I’m walking funny and I don’t know why. I look down I’ve got one flat shoe and one heel. I’m trying to hobble back to my car to switch it over. I should now be inside.

The other fatal mistake I’d made was using my mobile as a Sat-Nav. It had gotten disorientated in this Office Park and I couldn’t shut it up. It kept telling me to do a U-Turn. I managed to turn her off and shoved my phone into my bag. What I’d forgotten to do was turn the actual phone on to silent.

So I get inside, now late, only about 2 minutes but still not the best first impression. Then my lovely smart skirt is lace effect and gets caught in the zip on my bag. I spend the first couple of minutes trying to detach myself.

Then to make it worse my earlier my mistake with my phone comes back to haunt me. My phone rings. It’s the cardinal sin in a job interview and I just made it.

Suffice to say I didn’t get the job. The official reason given was the commute was considered to be too much for me. But I think getting flustered and being unprepared came to haunt me. You know what they say “Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail”

Love Esmee Jayne xxx

Friday Fiction – When Handsome Met Gorgeous 

She was still shaking but being comforted by the soothing warmth of a cup of tea. It had been a nightmare. She has been feeling grotty with the flu. She soldiered on all morning at work waiting for lunchtime so she could feed her cold with a slice of deep filled chocolate New York style cheesecake.

She turned the corner and noticed there was a light coming from the break room. She wondered if she had left the light on that morning in her rush to get back to her desk, but then again she would have noticed it earlier wouldn’t she, or was she in much of haze. These thoughts twirled round her mind as she crept closer and closer to the break room.

She flung the door fully open and to her shock found an idiotic young man stuffing his face. He had even eaten the last piece of chocolate cheesecake she was planning to have. In a chocolate cheesecake fuelled rage, to her surprise she said “HOW DARE YOU!” Angrily she continued “How can you have the audacity to eat someone else’s food”

He just stood there staring at her with a chocolate moustache. “Sorry, the guy who did my induction said there was cake in the fridge if I fancied any. I was really hungry because I’d been too nervous to eat this morning.”

After he’d wiped his mouth, he came over to talk to her. “I didn’t know it was yours. If you want I’ll make it up you. I know a great place for desserts about ten minutes from here.”

She had to admit without his chocolate moustache he seemed a lot more attractive, handsome even. She felt rubbish and just wanted to go home. She was about to turn him down when he said “Come on Gorgeous”

Be Careful What You Watch …

So I’m pretty much in love with sitcoms both British and American. I have realised this is a major problem when it comes to meeting guys. I recently got asked for my number by a guy. He was a good looking, seemed friendly, and straight up asked me for my number. I should have been flattered and flirtatiously given him my number whilst batting my eyelashes. Instead my brain just shut down on me. All I could muster was “Ummm”.  I did eventually manage to get the numbers out that made up my number whilst turning a deeper shade of beetroot. As soon as I finished giving it to him, I rushed into the nearest bathroom to splash some water on my face and down a glass too.
For this epic fail I hold people like Miranda Hart and the cast of Friends responsible. I recently watched an episode of Miranda, it was Series 2, Episode 1. I realised the way Miranda acted when she met a lovely hunky guy was pretty much my guy reaction. Whilst it makes for fantastic TV viewing, practical life advice not so much.
And so you may ask what happened with me and said guy. Nothing, not a darn think. I wonder why???

Love Esmee Jayne xxx

Friday Fiction – The Toe and The Tap

A thought of a boiling hot bath had pretty much been the thing getting her through the day at work. She had to admit it had lived up to her expectations. Candles filled the room. Bubbles up to the rim at the bath. The scents of rose and lavender filled the steamy air. Gently she slipped in to the bath. The feeling of the hot water seeping into her cold muscles and frozen bones was heavenly. She let out a sigh of sheer relief and pleasure. 

She decided to slouch down a little further so the water could competent surround her aching shoulders. As she slid down her her toes emerged out of the water near the taps. As the water soothes her aching muscles, she began to use her big toe to circle the edge of the tap to rhythm over the background music. She couldn’t have been more relaxed. 

Then her toe slid off the edge of the tap which had become slippy with condensation and became stuck in the tap. In an instant her relaxed move vanished. She tried to sit up but couldn’t her leg was locked in his position. She tried wriggling but it didn’t get any looser. She even tried squirting soap at it but it just made more bubbles. She took a deep breath and figured she would just have to wait for help. Luckily she knew Handsome was on his way home.

“Hey!” She shouted as soon as she heard the door swing open.

“Hey Gorgeous.” Handsome smiled as he looked down on her “You’re in a right old pickle aren’t you?”

“Yes” Gorgeous retorted angrily. “I was going to cook you an amazing dinner but I’ve been stuck here all night and I’m freezing  even more than when I got in, please.”

With a bit of persuasion the tap released the toe. Handsome wrapped a thick fluffy dressing gown around Gorgeous and showered her with his specialty Cheese on Toast. Gorgeous learned the lesson to never surrender your toes to your taps when your in the bath. 

Singing Sentences

I tweeted the lovely Carole Matthews recently to tell her that my latest blog was all about her. I tweeted “@carolematthews it’s all about you” As I’m typing it I start singing the McFly song ‘It’s All About You’ in my head. So am I the only one that does this? When you hear or say or write a sentence that is a song lyric do you start singing the song? 

I love McFly their an awesome band but it’s not just limited to them. I was babysitting some kids the other day and sighed to myself and said “What time is it?” With that all three of them broke out singing “What Time Is It?” From High School Musical 2. Now I have to admit this is partially self inflicted as I did introduce them to High School Musical but I began to wonder if this is a universal thing. 

So for instance when some asks you “Do you remember?” do you mentally end it with “twenty first night of September” by Earth Wind and Fire. 

Or if your asking a little kid to “Hold My Hand” does Jess Glynn start swirling around your brain. 

I think my favourite would be if your significant other was to ask you “Do You Love Me?” And you replied “Cause I can really move” by the Contours. 

 Check out my playlist on songs you sing when you hear or say certain sentences